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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The Road Less Traveled


A foreigner in Austria is called an ausländer; word for word translation ‘out’ ‘lander’. They sure picked a fitting word to describe exactly how I feel here as my life in Vienna slowly sinks in. I’m on the outside and they’re on the inside. Somehow I’ve gotta make this work ;)
Travel is apparently something I am married to. Committed to in good times and in bad, sickness and in health. I’m not sure I remember ever saying the vows, but here I am... sitting in a field in Vienna wondering how the hell my life lead me here. 
Every once in a while I have these nostalgic days where I miss home and feel like I’ve abandoned my former life. I guess in some ways I have. I always ask myself why I chose to come here to Europe.Why I’m chasing the dream of being a world cup climber... why I’m trying to learn a new language and live in a culture that doesn’t always make sense to me.The truth is I am haunted by my decisions and I cannot rationally explain what I am doing here... in a field... in Vienna.I guess I’m a bird with an anatomical clock and compass that tells me when and in which direction to fly. 
It’s funny to say it out loud, that the reason I am here is because ‘I follow my intuition.’ I mean... who really does that!? Well shucks, now I’m laughing to myself like a crazy person.... in a field.... in Vienna.
I guess, when opportunities arise in life they happen for a reason. If you never say yes... you will never know what you are missing out on. As much as I enjoy my safe and secure life in Canada, my ‘responsible’ life in Canada, I keep running away from it. I don’t want to pass up the opportunity to compete internationally even though I’ll probably never make it to finals at a World Cup. I don’t want to pass up sport climbing in Kalymnos with Wolf’s crazy hippie friends to pursue a career. I’m just not ready yet.  The people I have met and the places I have been have become a part of my character that I wouldn’t trade for the world. There are so many experiences to be had, and places for us to explore...a lifetime is hardly enough time to see the world! I constantly struggle with the pressure I place on myself to ‘grow up’... get a real job and settle down. But, is that really what I want? You only get one life. It’ important to make the most of it.

2 comments:

  1. Great writing. Forget "growing up". Just follow your motivation and let it take you to higher places. You can definitely make finals at a world cup. It's climbing and just like life, it's mostly in your mind.

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind words Zach :) It means a lot to me.

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