Flashed: Move With Confidence

     

"Morgenlatte 7b" Magic Wood, Photo: Wolfgang Kendler

I’ve never thought of myself as a winner. Truth be told, I’m nervous every time I publish a blog post because I question my credibility. I view myself as a middle of the pack climber. Yes, I have years of experience and valuable stories and tips that I love to share, but not necessarily the name or the tick list to back my content. I’ve never been overly successful at climbing... but at the same time I’ve never really been unsuccessful at it either. 

     When I walk into climbing gyms here in Vienna I immediately scope out the strong women like a moth to the flame. They aren’t very hard to pick out... just look for a cluster of drooling guys and soon, a #girlwhocrushes will emerge from the drooling pack and ascend into the spotlight. Yeah, I hashtagged that $***.  It’s pretty cheesy but I really enjoy looking through pictures of #girlswhocrush...yet somehow I’m embarrassed to use that hashtag on myself!

     Usually, when I see a #girlwhocrushes pull on a hard problem, I can feel the pressure well up inside of me. My competitive spirit persuades me to try the problem (usually while she isn’t looking) and somehow, I place expectations on myself based on how she has performed. It's like I immediately assume that she is a) a better climber than me, and that b)the problem was effortless for her. Half the time I don’t even know who she is and what she is capable of! The worst part is.... her success/failure on that problem will actually make me climb physically differently than I would normally.

ARE YOU HEARING ME? If you don’t think I sound like a maniac.... boy you’ve got issues too!

   

Miriam Frauenlob, Kalymnos Photo cred: Unknown

 4 weeks ago, following the Munich World Champs I competed in a local scramble format competition; 25 boulders, objective- top them all. 15 year old Miriam Frauenlob, who reminds me so much of Eva Thompson, set the bar high. [Fun fact - these two girls became pen-pals after attending last year’s Youth Worlds in Victoria. Small world!!]  Miriam is actually a sports climber, my understanding is that she competes in boulder competitions for fun. Her easy going attitude is refreshing and she is always happy to share her beta with you and cheer you up the wall! But more to the point.... she (like Eva) c-r-u-s-h-e-s.

     I kept a close watch on Miriam so I knew which boulders I would have to complete. Our approach to the competition was so incredibly different, but it pointed out one of my major flaws as a competitor. Miriam lead the pack and I chased her. Finally, with only half an hour and 3 ridiculous boulder problems remaining in the competition, our scores were tied. We both turned our attention to this slabby looking boulder with a gigantic deadpoint/dyno to the finish hold. I had watched some strong male competitors flail repetitively on this move, so I wrote the problem off as too hard. I hadn’t even tried it...

Miriam at Boulderbar   Photo: Christoph 

Jelisa at BoulderBar   Photo: Christoph

     I was ready to pack up and hand in my scorecard when out of the corner of my eye, I see little Miriam flash the gosh darn thing!! Nervously, I slipped my shoes back on... It only took me two tries to send it and it actually wasn’t so hard at all!

But the point is I never would have tried it if she hadn’t tried it first. I never would have set the bar high unless she had. 

Would I have believed in my own capabilities as a climber unless she was there to challenge them? Sadly, My answer is no....

I lack serious confidence in my abilities as a climber. 

     I read somewhere that self-confidence thrives when your abilities align with your self image and self expectations... So something is obviously out of whack here. I have extremely high expectations of myself while simultaneously believing they are impossible to reach (due to poor self image/lack of confidence). That is ridiculous...... 

     

A chipper Chris Neve as always!

I had a skype call with Chris Neve not too long ago (fantastic mental coach by the way... I’ve made an effort to squeeze every bit of knowledge out of him long after aging out of my youth career). The most prominent piece of advice he gave me was ‘start thinking of yourself as an athlete’. “ Believe in it, act like it, own it, write it on a sign in the bathroom... plaster it on your freaking forehead for all I care! Just start believing in it!” he exclaimed.

     It’s been about a month since that call and I still haven’t started acting like an athlete. There has been some progress but It is really hard to change your self image! Especially when you’ve cocooned yourself in mediocracy for the better part of your life. I was never a confident kid to begin with... the best I would ever do at competitions was second place. If Vikki Weldon wasn’t taking home the gold, then it was Noella Nykyforuk or some other burly Edge kid! I got so used to being runner up that I lowered my expectations and became comfortable in my shoes. I was doing okay... I still had something to be proud of. 

     Now that I’m older, I have to ask myself why I didn’t fight to be better. I don’t think it was because I was lazy or because I didn’t want it... it was because I actually did not believe I could do better. It didn’t even register to me that I could have tried to beat Vikki. So I didn't...

     Coaches always say that climbing is 90% mental. Yet I’ve continued to ignore mental training as a serious part of my routine. That is going to change..... time to teach this old dog new tricks ;)

Turn’s out Flashed had it right all along....

MOVE WITH CONFIDENCE

Thanks to my sponsors: 

Evolv

Flashed

Calgary Climbing Center

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xo